Corene travels the UK in pursuit of Austen, Doctor Who and baked bean pizza.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Cologne/Kohln/Whatever


The city of Cologne/Kohln is famous for one thing.


Two things, actually. There's a really fantastic Starbucks in their train station and this cathedral.


The Cologne Cathedral is a great, hulking beast of a German Gothic Cathedral. As soon as you step out of the train station, there it is - staring you in face, daring you not to repent.


If the Cathedral were a person, it would be a sour faced headmaster with thwarted bureaucratic ambitions, dressed entirely in black, who would fondly look back on the days of caning and would tell Bavarian bedtime stories about little children being hacked into little bits for sucking their thumbs.


The Cathedral was used by Allied pilots to navigate their way to Berlin which is the only reason why it wasn't levelled to the ground like the rest of Germany.


There's also a chocolate museum (if you can figure out which North is North and not walk in the anti-North for an hour before figuring out that North is South and You Are Lost) which houses the most terminally depressed employees in the whole world (barring of course, the poor Third World chaps who have to spend their days in the jungle picking cocoa beans).

The people making chocolate are not happy people. They pour pure molten hatred into every chocolate bunny they make.


I cannot believe that we live in a society that does not frown on the practice of eating life-sized chocolate babies.


The chocolate tree which according to Jessie needed to be "bigger... more chocolate-y."

Also, more free sample-y.


And there was German kitsch!


And Easter eggs in pretzels liberally sprinkled with huge chunks of sugar - which was a lot more appetizing than it would seem. At least the pretzel part.

I left the pink egg to Jessie. It seemed the best strategy for not dye-ing/dying before Easter.


Mwah-ha-ha-ha.

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