Adventures in Socio-Linguistics!

England and America are two countries separated by the same language - George Bernard Shaw

And an excruciating twelve hour trans-Atlantic flight. - Corene Maret Brown



After many year spent as an apprentice at my mother's knee trying to decipher what the hell they were going on about on Coronation Street, I can usually understand the English folk as long as they aren't mumbling in a broad Oxfordshire or marble-mouthed east London accent. However, as interested linguists will be foaming at the mouth to know, there are several strange lexicographical turn of phrases that haven't made it over the ocean and inevitably provide hilarious verbal hijinks with Canadian visitors bearing the brunt of the ridicule.

The most important thing for visitors to the UK to note:
TROUSERS (United Kingdom) = PANTS (North America)
PANTS (North American) = NAUGHTY BIT COVERS (United Kingdom)

I cannot stress this enough. At no point in any conversation with someone from the UK should you ever say: "God, I can't wait to put some pants on."

My most memorable lost in translation moment was when I was chatting to a co-worker; a charming, mannered Scottish lady of impeccable moral standards.

"I have to go home and tidy my flat," she said.

"Why? I haven't bothered to clean anything in my apartment since the shooting season started. I think we clean enough all day, every day."

"Well, I have a man coming to inspect my flat and I can't have him thinking I'm a slut."

"..."

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"... That word cannot mean what you think I think it means."

After a long, involved discussion with lots of incredulous stares (on her part) and shrieks of laughter (on my part), we discerned that in fact she was not a lady of negotiable virtue nor was her apartment knee deep in frilly underwear. In Scotland, a "slut" is a messy, lackadaisical woman who doesn't care about standards or how she looks.

And now you know.

Eat your heart out, Calvin Veltman.