Palace Happenings

At one o'clock in the morning last night, I was thrust into consciousness and out of doors by (I kid you not) a genuine, functioning World War II air raid siren.


Such are the perks of living at a palace where nothing can be ordinary, not even fire alarms. Instead of just using a clangy cowbell, the palace uses the antique air raid siren as a sort of extra incentive for the occupants not to fry to a crisp in their beds.


The siren in question, was used not just for the palace but for the many little villages that surround it and is placed on the roof just above my window. And now I know for sure that I wouldn't have lasted a night in the Blitz as my first reaction was "Well, okay. That's really, really loud... So fifteen more minutes."


Thankfully it was a false alarm and someone made sure that I exited the building before finally enjoying some proper heating.


Ah! The excitement of living at a palace. But it hasn't all been exciting midnight adventures outdoors and gaping at the scenery. I've also done some important resume skills building.


I can now properly fold, stack, haul and plastic wrap polar bears.


I've developed a deep, deep hatred of pheasants who climb trees and drop nuts on your head and laugh as you're walking by. I can see why the aristocracy have been shooting these bastards out of the sky for centuries. Must be very satisfying.


I've also eaten one of their comrades and he/she was delicious.


The palace is the most beautiful place in England, if I do say so myself. And I do. And so do the brochures. And the guidebooks. And the postcards that everyone I know will be receiving.


This view is apparently the most photographed view in England for reasons unbeknownst to me.


I have a charming flat in the palace which has Harry Potter ceilings!


Bonus Picture: These are the antique bells that are still in working order and function on a pulley system. The wires are run throughout the entire house so you can actually see the signal winding its way down the hallways before the staff are alerted if someone needs a cup of warm milk in the night.*

In closing:


*Whomever gets the Gosford Park reference will receive two shiny pence, hand polished by me with an official palace dust rag.