My Bottom 5 Hostel Moments of London (So far)
or
Just because you are awake, it doesn't mean that everyone else has to be awake too.

1. Being woken up at 7 o'clock in the morning, after a long, hard night of staring at the ceiling, by a warbling soprano belting out "Angel of Music" from Phantom of the Opera while folding her facecloths.

There is no need for Andrew Lloyd Webber at seven o'clock in the morning.

There is no need for Andrew Lloyd Webber at all.

2. If you speak a language that carries really well and is impossible to whisper (I.E Cantonese and German) and you come back to a hostel late (around 2:30) and everyone is sleeping, take the long, involved conversation about how Jenny collects bottle caps, outside. Because we don't care about Jenny. And we don't care about you.

3. The girl who suffered from what I can't only term as night terrors (because I dropped out of psychology after one class) who would, whenever a door would shut or open, sit straight up from sleeping and yell: "What? Nigel? Why now?"

4. The most violent offender of peaceful sleep in communal living? Flip-flops would be a good guess. Zippers would probably come second. But the most annoying sound in the light sleeper's repertoire is the crinkling of a plastic bag.

The crinkle of a plastic bag is like a sonic boom in an empty room. A nuclear blast of noise guaranteed to shudder you awake.

To the charming young lass who played with her plastic bag for fifteen minutes at 6:30 in the morning (And by play, I mean she just sat there crinkling it. She didn't get anything out. She didn't put anything it. She just smushed it together and then smoothed it out. And then slapped it against her suitcase. As I was now completely awake and homicidal, I watched the entire performance. I think she was doing some sort of recycling protest on a local scale), I thank you.

5. If you're going to have an conversation about how "like, it's so, like, annoying to be at, like, a hostel, like, because people keep talking, when, like, you're trying to, like, sleep" make sure that you're not having it while someone in the room is trying to sleep.

The irony (or the person trying to sleep) might suffocate you.